In this insightful interview, Fedja, a psychoanalytic psychotherapist with 30 years of experience, discusses the complexities of couples therapy. Speaking with Floss Knight of UK Therapy Guide, Feder shares valuable insights into relationship dynamics and therapeutic approaches.
The discussion begins by addressing common reasons couples seek therapy, primarily focusing on communication breakdown and unresolved arguments. Feder emphasises that couples often hope a therapist can serve as an unbiased third party to facilitate better discussions and resolution.
A key insight from the interview is how seemingly minor issues, like disputes over household chores, often represent deeper underlying problems. These conflicts might reflect broader concerns about equality, financial contributions, gender roles, or unresolved issues from past experiences and upbringing.
Feder addresses common anxieties about couples therapy, particularly the fear of being judged or blamed. He emphasises that couples therapy isn’t about determining fault but rather understanding and improving the relationship dynamics. The therapist works with the couple as a unit, not taking sides.
The conversation explores both short-term and long-term therapy benefits. In the short term, therapy helps couples improve communication and understand their automatic responses. Long-term therapy allows for deeper exploration of personal histories, leading to greater compassion and understanding between partners.
Special attention is given to specific challenges couples face, such as parenting disagreements and fertility issues, highlighting how therapy can help navigate these sensitive topics. Feder stresses the importance of acceptance in relationships, noting that successful partnerships require compromise and acknowledgment of differences rather than seeking perfect alignment.
Throughout the interview, both speakers emphasise that while relationships require work, professional support can help couples develop stronger, more understanding partnerships.
